Step 1: Understanding the Victim as a Defense Mechanism
The Victim, often unjustly dismissed as a disempowered state, holds the key to our survival and growth. During intense experiences, especially in childhood, adopting the Victim stance becomes a defense mechanism—a powerful tool helping us navigate challenges, seek attention, and find love and intimacy. The Victim is a gift from our past, a strategy that once skillfully guided us through the complexities of our formative years.
Step 2: Unraveling the Present: From Survival to Empowerment
As adults, the dynamics shift. What was once a coping mechanism becomes a hindrance to personal growth and fulfillment. The Victim stance, though instrumental in the past, now limits our ability to make mature decisions, solve problems, and savor life’s pleasures. Recognizing the need for a shift—transitioning from a disempowered state to one of empowerment—marks the beginning of a profound inner journey toward the state of the Victor.
Step 3: Embracing the Victor: A Path to Maturity
The Victor embodies self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and the ability to take responsibility for one’s life. This state is marked by centeredness, intimacy, and empowerment in someone who can confidently express their values. Recognizing the importance of transitioning from the Victim to the Victor is the first step in cultivating a mature and fulfilling life.
Step 4: Navigating the Transition: Awareness and Responsibility
Breaking free from the Victim mentality demands heightened awareness. Acknowledging the defence mechanisms that served us in the past paves the way for intentional and responsible choices in the present. This journey involves consciously taking responsibility for our words, actions, thoughts, and feelings—a crucial step toward breaking free from the chains of disempowerment.
Step 5: The Gift of Stroke Economy: Transforming Interactions
As part of this empowering journey, the practice of “Stroke Economy” is a valuable tool. A “stroke” is a term coined by Eric Berne, meaning as ‘a unit of recognition.’ A stroke is a form of attention that meets a ‘hunger’ we might have for stimulation, encouragement, reward or physical and emotional care. By giving and receiving positive strokes, setting boundaries, and engaging in authentic interactions, we create a supportive environment for personal growth. Over the next 21 days, journal and observe how you can implement Stroke Economy in your life:
- Give strokes to others.
- Ask for the strokes you want.
- Accept strokes you desire.
- Reject strokes you don’t want.
- Give strokes to yourself.
In the intricate dance between the Victim and the Victor, we discover the essence of our humanity. Acknowledging the past, embracing the lessons learned, and consciously choosing the path of empowerment are vital steps toward a more mature, fulfilling, and authentic existence. As energy beings with a miraculous nervous system, let us not dim our light but shine brightly as empowered human beings, sharing love and positivity with the world.
With heartfelt compassion and dedication,
Nisarga Eryk Dobosz – BBTRS, BCST, CI, MER, LOMI
