I view triggers as mirrors and gifts, prompting us to gaze into the past with awareness. By witnessing the cascade of unpleasant sensations and intense feelings triggered within us, we uncover the opportunity for growth. Our bodies, akin to an addiction, may release certain chemicals, seeking familiarity with the past, even if the experience feels unpleasant.
Each trigger reveals glimpses of our sub-personalities, rooted in trauma responses. Reacting to triggers often traps us in the past, reverting to a childhood mode that distorts our perception of reality. In this state, creating meaningful relationships becomes challenging, as we project, blame, and criticize others.
It’s crucial to recognize that people around us seldom harbor ill intentions. Most triggers stem from our own interpretations, often having little to do with the present moment. My therapeutic tool, which I’d like to share with you, involves embracing triggers with 5 key questions. By approaching them with curiosity and maturity, we are able to navigate these emotional currents more skilfully.
The 5 Questions to Ask When Triggered:
- What happened?
- How did it feel?
- How do I interpret it?
- What are other possible interpretations?
- Is this trigger familiar to me?
In this journey of self-discovery, the simplicity of the 5 questions makes a big first step toward embracing honesty. As we open ourselves to different possibilities, we acknowledge that our stories only hold power when we assign meaning to them. The realization dawns that triggers lose their potency without this meaning. It’s a transformative path leading to empowerment, inviting us to release the grip of our stories and attachments to the past.
Crucially, this process requires us to hold ourselves in a space of loving compassion. Our stories matter; they are significant narratives of survival, and our defence mechanisms, though often unconscious, are also gifts. To navigate this terrain skilfully, we must learn to recognise when our defence mechanisms veer into the unconscious and become harmful. It’s a delicate balance—acknowledging the importance of our stories while cultivating the self-awareness necessary to distinguish between empowering narratives and those that perpetuate suffering. This journey invites us to witness our own evolution with gentleness, fostering an environment where personal growth and healing can unfold organically.
This brief inner process enables us to be less reactive to our environment, fostering responses that are infused with compassion and understanding. Give it a try. Let’s commit to being trigger-free for today, embarking on a journey of self-discovery and emotional resilience.
With heartfelt compassion and dedication,
Nisarga Eryk Dobosz – BBTRS, BCST, CI, MER, LOMI
