The Oral Structure
by Kat Langer & Prema McKeever
During the first couple of years of a child’s life, they are completely dependent on their primary caregiver (usually the mother) to fulfill their basic needs for food, comfort and affection. Ideally in this phase the child learns to trust that their basic needs will be fully met when expressed, leaving them feeling relaxed, happy and satisfied. Different circumstances may lead to the caregiver being unable to adequately fulfill these needs during this stage, such as the mother being ill, exhausted or otherwise unavailable for the child. This in turn leaves the child feeling anxious and their nervous system unable to relax back into a state of calm. Over time, the message the child picks up is that it is not safe to ask, or that asking may in fact lead to them feeling worse, and with that the child gradually loses trust that their mother (or indeed anyone) can meet their needs. The difficulty arises if later in life a person becomes stuck in this sense of deprivation and continues to rely on others to fill them up, leading to a pattern which Wilhelm Reich refers to as the “Oral Structure”, also known as the “Needy Child”.